Cody and I went camping this weekend. And I learned some more about him, about me, and about God.
Our trip was particularly quiet and still. I was picturing this rugged weekend with lots of hiking and playing and creek-stomping and splashing and swimming and boating. I saw us having long, intimate talks over the campfire, laughing over s’mores, and venturing out for a crazy night hike.
We didn’t do a lot of that. We went for a pretty rough hike when we got there Saturday and then jumped into the camp pool to cool off. But the pool closed at 6:45 p.m. So the rest of the evening we spent making a fire, holding hands, drinking Pepsi, and playing cards. And just being quiet.
Since I am sometimes slightly hyperactive and cannot sit still without feeling like I should be doing or saying something totally productive, I felt anxious. I kept asking Cody, Are you ok? Yes. Are you sure? You’re not thinking about anything? No, really, I’m fine. I love just hanging out here with you. Oh. Well, do you want to do something, are you bored? NO!!! 🙂
And once I finally settled down and trusted he honestly enjoyed just being in my presence, I really liked it. I tried to not think about anything…about my email, voicemails waiting on my phone, what had to be done at home when I got there, how long it would take us to pack up in the morning…and just sat. I didn’t pull out a book, I didn’t organize our tent, I didn’t create a conversation just because there was air to fill it with. And when I came home, I was so relaxed and sleepy. I felt like I had cleansed my head out of all the junk I toss around in there all the time. Junk I think I have control over and don’t, junk that I can’t help, junk I sometimes even create for myself, just to play with.
So it is with God. Sometimes I feel like I should constantly be learning, constantly be changing, constantly be enlightened. But also, sometimes, we are just doing ok and he wants us to just be still. Let Him do the work. Rest our hearts and our bones. He fought for our lives and now we have it. He is much bigger and can handle it much better anyways.
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
And of course:
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10