I cannot wait for Cody’s birthday.

It’s a surprise I have planned for him. All he knows is that we will be gone for two days and one night. And I can’t tell you exactly what it is because if he reads this, that will spoil it. (If you really want to know, you can email me). I can tell you that he will love it. I will too, but I chose it because I know him. I know that he will be incredibly appreciative and he will know how to enjoy it and make the most of it. Sometimes I just want to blurt it out and tell him so bad. But I want to see the joy on his face when he finds out what it is. And even if he has a teeny, tiny hint of what it might be, he still doesn’t know the extra things I have planned for us.

And the great thing is, he trusts me. He has not once questioned me about it: What if I don’t like it? What if we’re not prepared…because if I knew what it was, we’d be better prepared. What if something goes wrong and we have to change plans at the last minute? What if I’m disappointed and you really don’t know that it’s something I will like or not?

It would actually be pretty ridiculous if he asked me those questions. Of COURSE I know what he likes! Of COURSE we’ll be prepared because I am the one who chose and planned it! And of COURSE I would never choose to give him a gift that would disappoint him.

I was thinking this yesterday when I was seriously debating just spilling the beans. And I immediately thought about God. And it just clicked. While that line of questioning seems ridiculous, how often have I breathed those prayers to God in the face of His plans for me? That’s kind of embarrassing, really. I tell God I want to make a difference…I want to do this and this and that because I really think I could make a bigger difference in these ways…glorify Him more, be a better person, accomplish more things, etc… My attitude is that I have chosen God to help me in MY plans to live out my faith.

Instead, it’s just the opposite. God has chosen me for HIS plan. I doubt so often that I will like it…that it will make me happy, that it will have a lasting effect on the world…and I fear I will be disappointed because I am so sure that what I want is better. Not so.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last… john 15:18

God promises that if I follow Him and His commands…to love others…that I will bear fruit and have an eternal effect. He made me for that. That’s the whole point of my life. Of course He wants that. And He knows me better than me…so He’s made those plans. He’s made reservations, He guides my steps, and He sees the entire plan as well as its culmination. But it’s going to be His way and not mine.

And He probably can’t wait to see the joy unfold in my life as a result of what He has for me. And not joy as the world gives…frivolous and withering…but a lasting joy that is the result of hope in the face of anything that might happen. He watches my face and my heart change and shine and morph into His likeness. Just as I see Cody’s birthday unfold and I do nothing but watch him enjoy it and do what he loves to do.

God does not find our requests too big–He finds our dreams too small. -C.S. Lewis