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I've been holding out on you

I’ve been thinking. And decided to share.

Tomorrow, Cody and I will have been married for eight months. No, we don’t celebrate those odd kinds of anniversaries (Hey honey! This is the 10,382nd Monday we’ve been married! LET’S CELEBRATE!), but as I have friends right now who are engaged…planning, organizing, dreaming…I find myself having lots to share about what I have learned through my marriage (so far…I realize we have plenty far to go).

Sometimes I shy away from talking “too much” about Cody, our marriage, our relationship, our engagement, our history, our wedding, etc…I don’t want to sound obsessed. I don’t want to be mushy and scare people off. I don’t want people to think I’m not individual and I’m not my own person.

The thing is I am an individual…created by and for a God of love and beauty…but I am not my own. I am first God’s, and I am second Cody’s. And he is mine. The two have become one. And that is my life right now…learning how to navigate smashing two lives together. Sometimes it seems and feels like the most beautiful and natural thing on the planet. Other times, it truly feels like the complete opposite…frustrating and chaotic (and we don’t even have kids yet!!). And I’m sure these stories will come in future blog posts…

So I guess I just wanted to open up that branch of conversation, whether you have comments or not about it. I needed to give myself the freedom to share about that facet of my life, even to the point of making everyone nauseous from the sweetness of it all…but trust me, it’s not all sweet. 😉

Because the truth is, I adore Cody. And I adore God for letting me have him. Cody has the most giving heart of anyone I know. He’s passionate and stubborn and funny and joyful and sometimesreallymoody and let’s himself feel life and he’s my best friend. I love that he’s tall, that he has great hair (seriously…he does…a girl at his work told him she didn’t believe he goes to Great Clips…oh the hilarity of it all), that his eyes are sometimes blue and sometimes gray, that he loves to play farmer (he called today to tell me he got to drive the tractor at work through town…), that he has dimples, that he enjoys reading, that he would do anything to make his family happy, that he loves outdoors and camping and fishing, that he writes I LOVE YOU on the garage floor with sidewalk chalk, and that he gets ridiculously happy and excited just to have me come home from work and hang out with him.

*sigh*

Ok. I think I’m done. I fear I may have opened the floodgates though…

Every good and perfect gift comes from God… James 1:1

We all blossom in the presence of one who sees the good in us and who can coax the best out of us. – Desmond Tutu

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4 thoughts on “I've been holding out on you

  1. I love it.
    being you friend means knowing about the important things in your life. and…you guys are a wonderful example of how God can be glorified in a marriage. what an example of love and sacrifice you are. it’s beautiful.

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