I’ve discovered that a favorite question for pregnant women is: How are you feeling??
Which is a great question to ask! It really is because it shows that you care, that you want to know what’s going on with the pregnancy, and that if she needs anything, you’ll run and get it.
The only problem is, this is probably the one time in life where the answer to that question literally changes by the second.
Answers you might hear possibly range from, “Oh good, just a little more tired than usual” to “Just a bit sick but I’ll be out of the first trimester soon!” or even “a little under the weather but we are so excited about our new baby!!” *confetti*
I guarantee this is really what that pregnant girl is probably really wanting to say:
Actually I feel ……more likea beached whale… like an eternal muffintop…like I’ll never feel normal again…like I could cry so much it would put the Mississippi River to shame…like I honestly have no clue how I feel right now…omg I miss wine…oh fine I’m just worried I killed my baby by having two espresso shots this morning…like I’m carrying this baby everywhere but where I’m supposed to..like just gimme a d*mn cookie…ugh pass me that wastebasket, I’m going to toss my cookies…
And on and on. Scary, huh?
It feels a bit like chaos I can’t control. Most of it doesn’t make sense, and I can’t fit the pieces together. Some days Iwake up feeling on top of the world, higher than I ever have, because I’m having a baby!!! Other days I wake up feeling emotional and restless and the touch of a feather can send me to the bathroom sobbing. Some days I look in the mirror and feel great; other days, I look in the mirror and want to crawl back into bed and call in sick. It’s unpredictable and frustrating. Not to mention life seems to move in slow motion. Only slower.
I keep track of what week I’m on, but I’m so antsy to get to the next week that I start saying I’m week 12 on Thursday of week 11 and then by the weekend I’m totally disappointed that I’m STILL ON WEEK 12 when it feels like I should already be at 13. (By now you are probably thinking…her poor child…haha).
The beautiful thing is it’s normal. *whew* It’s all normal. The second I glance at that ultrasound picture…with that sweet little lima bean that has an oversized head and balled up little hands…it all makes perfect sense. Life is being created. And if LIFE…which involves so much chaos and craziness and goodness and tragedy and celebration and grief and hope …is being shaped in a tiny place tucked inside of me, it’s no surprise there are some fireworks involved.
So I will gladly leave my top button undone, cry when I need to, and I might even just tell you how I really feel next time you ask.