Lately, I have just been really frustrated at the lack of time I have to do the things I love. Sunday nights I feel it the worst. I find myself growing irritable because work starts all over again on Monday. I get frustrated when I barely get by doing the things I feel NEED to get done, only find I haven’t touched the things I WANT to get done. And no matter what we cut out, the biggest culprit, obviously, is work. It’s tough to devout so much time to something that takes effort and energy and doesn’t quite feel like it fits.
Sometimes I let myself wallow and complain about it, but I don’t want to be that way. I really don’t. Everytime I read verses in the bible that talk about being humble, compassionate, hard-working, and patient, I think, I wanna be that way! But I definitely feel far from the mark.
Last Saturday morning, I was running at the park with my friend Emily and just unloaded on her about this very thing…about how work is stressful, it takes up so much time, I feel inadequate, I feel underqualified, etc. She said something that snapped me back to reality. She said, “Jamie! Everything you are telling me is everything Satan wants you to believe! That you’re not enough, you’re too little, you can’t do it. It’s not true. Even if every morning, you have to wake up and yell: UGH, God, another day of work! Please help me walk in Your truth, be joyful and to TRUST…then that’s what you need to do. Give God your best and He will always give you time for the things your heart wants to do.”
She is so completely 100% right. I won’t be that person I want to be overnight. But as I walk through each day, I can carefully choose my reactions to situations and my attitudes towards people and projects. God knows that sometimes life isn’t perfect, but He makes it meaningful. Every little thing can be used for His glory and to point us to Him, whether I think so or not.
One of my favorite verses has always been Philippians 2:12-16
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed– not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence–continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the Word of life…
I love it because it reminds me that the work God is doing in me depends on me as well. I can choose to have a good attitude, choose to make good choices, choose to be loving, and choose peace and calmness over disorder and frustration. It also reminds me God will do His part to make me that person I hope to be.
And until then, I will do my best to welcome Monday with open arms.