God is full of beauty and love and purpose and peace and meaning. Ok. Got it.
So…my question is, how do I access that in an office where I only have one window right above my head, I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing half the time, I feel a bit/okLOT inadequate, and I’m up to my elbows in office supplies?
Sometimes I wonder…whattheheckamIdoing? I hate it when I do that because it makes me doubt everything…is God listening? Does He care? Is anything in my life significant right now? DID I order more copy paper or did I remember wrong???? *bitesnails* Where’s the adventure in that?!?!
But last night, my dear friend Vicki said something that really stuck out to me. It wasn’t super profound…in fact, I have heard it hundreds of times in my life. “God is in control.” It was refreshing to hear her say it with such conviction because I haven’t heard it in awhile, at least, in reference to a specific situation attached to real worries and anxieties. As soon as the words left her mouth, I relaxed. And realized…it’s TRUE.
In a world where crap (and worse!) happens, God IS in control. He doesn’t MAKE these bad things happen. Bad things are a result of a broken world filled with people who have the freedom to choose right or wrong and too often are hardwired to choose wrong. He doesn’t stand idley by as we suffer and wander about in a world that crashes in on us quite often. He’s there. He’s available. And He’s ready to take any situation and flip it on its end to show that, “See? I am God, I’m here, I got you.” I have seen it happen, and I know you have too.
I just have to remember all that and not get caught up in myself…what am I doing?! What am I NOT doing?! Am I doing ok?! (I’m a spaz, what can I say?). God just urges us to face Him, consider Him. Because despite ourselves…despite the job we hate, the roommate we can’t stand, the boy who doesn’t like us back, the tragedy that was so unfair, the insecurities and fears…our hope rests in something else. And it’s MUCH bigger than our issues.
So I will go back to my job. I will keep an eye out for open doors, I will breath in the fresh air of windows He props open for me, I will take tiny opportunities as they come and trust. Because HE is the adventure. I mean…I didn’t know I would be married until about two months before I actually did! THAT’S adventure! That means ANYTHING can happen at any point that I never expected…and that I will absolutely end up loving.
In the meantime, I’m gonna go fix the copier.
Rouse yourself up and look to God. Build your hope on Him. No matter if there are a hundred and one things that press, resolutely exclude them all and look to Him.