Cody and I went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button last night. While I really enjoyed the story, it was a bit of a damper on our date night. Slightly depressing, it really makes you think about your life and re-emphasizes the words in the bible, “You are but a mist.” Sometimes, life seems so incredibly significant…like the hope and joy of my life rests in this or that decision, and if I get it wrong, well, I’ll be miserable forever. I think it’s healthy to remember we are only human and only here so long, but I don’t think it is something to dwell on. If I spent every waking moment worrying if something were to happen to Cody (and I probably could…I’ve done it before), then how will I enjoy him now? How will we learn more about each other and prepare for a family if we’re always so afraid something will happen to the other?
In our conversations after the movie, it was a relief to ground myself in the fact that while it could just be a SAD thought…a short life and then death…in reality it’s not. When you put God in the equation, it’s nice to remember that there’s much more to life and much more to follow. It’s comforting that Someone is keeping track of me…every decision I make, every mistake, every tear, every joy…and not only gives me the blessings I have, but is my strength when stuff gets hard.
And stuff will definitely get hard. It’s easy to get overwhelmed after this season of celebration and rest, facing an ENTIRE work week once again (Monday through Friday? NO DAYS OFF?! *faints*), but in remembering the gifts and blessings of God, I feel lifted up in the knowledge that I am much more than my paycheck, my success, my resume, and all that I have or have not accomplished in my life.
So I hope to exit this season of celebration and rest by carrying it with me in the months ahead. Who knows what will happen…a job change? A move? A baby? Or maybe 2009 will be the hardest year of my life. Either way, I know God is there. Even if I don’t feel Him now. Even if I doubt. Even if I might even forget Him for a little while. And He’s there for you too. I might need you to remind me down the road, but that doesn’t change a thing.
…let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith…Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…and all the more as you see the Day approaching. ~hebrews 10:22-25